Today's random, useless thoughts and humor...
The smiley face :)
It's a symbol of peace, love, and happiness. Humor, sarcasm, and silliness. Optimism, hope, and simplicity.
Maybe it's just a simple, random symbol, but it holds a lot of power. It's a meaningless symbol... with a lot of meaning.
And in my opinion, that's what makes it slightly fascinating, and highly hilarious.
Maybe you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about. It's a freaking smiley face, for freak's sake. It has power?? Come on, Ashley... it's not the gosh-darn President.
Well, sure... the smiley face is just a silly text symbol... yes.
But this symbol has a way of communicating our feelings, tone, and intent. It's also an extremely effective tool for people like me, the sarcastic pains-in-the-asses of the world. And that's why it's friggin' brilliant.
When it comes to text communication, many unnecessary problems and arguments often arise, due to the obvious lack-of-tone. Without it, the message recipient is left to decipher the message meaning... and honestly, we're just not that smart. (Yes. I said it.)
Often, this causes the entire purpose of a message to be missed. Intent can be misinterpreted. Feelings can be hurt, and/or anger can arise.
As a result, a straightforward email can spark an unnecessary, useless debate. A well-meaning text message can start an all-out war. Jovial sarcasm can be viewed as damn-near malice.
"Is she f-ing SERIOUS right now???!!! Skank!"
Yet... the smiley face presents us with a simple, effective solution to all of this. In fact, it has the power to take you from bitch to angel, in about 2 seconds flat.
Don't believe me? Here's a simple text example:
"I can't talk right now. Talk to you later."
The person sending the message is simply busy at work, and doesn't have time to talk at the moment. But she has no idea that the other person is now having the following delusional thoughts upon receipt of that message:
"Wait... she's been 'busy' a lot lately. Is she mad at me? Is she avoiding me? OMG, she so IS avoiding me!!! That BITCH!!!"
Before the message-sender even realizes what's just happened, she's landed herself in a massive fight with her friend. The friend has already assigned an inaccurate, negative tone to the message, and suddenly, "Talk to you later" becomes "I never want to talk to you again. Ever. PS- You're ugly."
The solution? A simple, friggin' smiley face. I'm not kidding. Check this out:
"I can't talk right now. Talk to you later :)"
This option sets forth a positive tone from the get-go : "Aww. That sweet girl is just sooo busy. Probably doing the Lord's work. And even still, she wants to talk to me later!"
But the best part about the smiley face... is its ability to further enable my sarcastic nature, in a way that minimizes bitchiness and enhances humor.
"It's okay. You can't help it that you're such a massive dumbass :)"
The result? Laughter instead of anger. Works like a friggin' charm.
The smiley face can turn offensive-honesty into lighthearted fun. Or it can make blatant, sarcastic lies seem innocent and endearing. Basically, it takes the bitch out of bitch-slap, and that's why it's awesome.
Here are some other fun sarcastic examples:
"Yeah... about that. If it happens again, I'm gonna need to sue you :)"
"I'm sorry I didn't get back to you this morning. I was waaay too drunk. What's up :)"
"Girl, I'm not judging. Dogs are my thing. Slutty is yours. Sluts help people :)"
"Well... it sounds like that's definitely your fault. But it's mighty-big of you to blame others for it :)"
"No. You're not bothering me. I was actually just looking for someone to waste my time :)"
"Of course I get it. And if I was completely delusional, I'd totally agree with you :)"
"That reminds me. For a while now, I've been meaning to suggest that you go screw yourself :)"
"No, I'm not mad at you. I'm just annoyed with your entire existence :)"
For funzies, let's take it another (extremely-sarcastic) step further. Let's say you send this text message to a friend:
"Please don't repeat this, but I'm leaning toward homicide :)"
Without the smiley face, your fate is sealed. If someone dies, you're going to prison.
With it... there's room for reasonable doubt. "She was totally kidding! She wouldn't harm anyone! Just look at the cute little smiley!"
The verdict? Not friggin' guilty.
In my opinion, the smiley face is simply brilliant. And due to its multi-purpose nature, I'm able to use it often. Most of the time, I add a smiley to convey my genuine appreciation for someone. Other times, I use it to solidify the positive intent of my message.
But sometimes, it's just fun to use it for... well, fun! If you've ever met me, you know that I'm preeetty big on self-deprecation and sarcasm. And that's why I'm thankful for the smiley face.
It lets people know when I'm kidding, and when I'm not kidding. It allows me to make light-hearted jokes, without pissing people off. And honestly, it's one of the only reasons why approximately 70% of my friendships haven't been burned entirely to the ground.
Plus, the smiley face is solely responsible for this ridiculously-useless blog post. I'm truly sorry for wasting your time today. And you're welcome :)