No Humor Allowed

So let’s laugh for a minute, shall we?
Or is that allowed?

Wait, crap… that’s not okay, is it? We have to be serious, right? Silly me, I forgot the "rules" of animal rescue. I should know better by now. No laughing. No fun. No smiling.

Hey you... over there… Is that a smirk on your face? What the hell is wrong with you, freak? You better turn that grin upside down, buddy, and get your happy ass back to despair. And don’t let this happen again… moron.

Here are “the rules” set by a few animal rescuers, which they expect the rest of us to follow: 
(Note: These are not MY rules, and I refuse to follow them. I just find them ridiculously, insanely, hilarious.)

1)     In animal rescue, you must remain stoic, unsmiling, and humorless at all times. (Yes. This sounds fun. Please continue...)

2)     You must spend all day, every day, looking at horrific images, urgent animals, and helpless cases. You must ensure that this activity zaps all of the joy out of your life, and do not try to replenish your happy supply. We don’t need you ruining our hard-earned misery... with your hippity-hoppity, upbeat attitude. Hopping is for bunnies. You are a person.

3)     You must crosspost with reckless abandon. You must feel worthless while doing so. You must say “shared.” If you don’t say “shared,” it didn’t happen.

4)     When someone states: “Adopted” or “Rescued” on a thread, DO NOT take time to rejoice. Do not throw your hands in the air and scream: “YAY!!!” What… you think this is a freaking theme park?? Hey lady... Jump-off that crazy train... and get back to depressed and miserable. Happiness is for pansies. Pansies are flowers. You, my friend, are a rescuer.

5)     You can cry. You can sob. You can scream. But don’t you dare laugh. NO HUMOR ALLOWED. Do not partake in activities that bring you any form of joy.  If it makes you smile, stop it now. If it makes you laugh, go to hell.

6)     Do not make innocent jokes for the sake of your sanity. What the heck is wrong with you? You think it’s okay to lighten the mood?  We’ve worked for years to set this mood lighting to the perfect level of dark and depressing. You like sunshine? Go to the beach. Wait… no. Beaches are fun. DO NOT go to the beach. Fun is for children. You are an adult. Grow up and cry yourself to sleep already.

7)     “Real” rescuers have zero emotion. I know I said you can cry... but I lied. I rescue animals. I can do that.

8)     If you feel completely worthless… good. If you feel hollow inside… perfect. If you feel like you may go insane… damn right you will. Sanity is an illusion. Illusions are for magicians. You, little one, are an animal advocate. (Duh...everyone knows that the word “advocate” really means “depressed lunatic.” That’s like first grade English or something.)

9)     It’s important to note: As a rescuer, you must attempt to undermine the efforts of all other rescuers. This only sounds “crazy” ... if you’re completely sane. In my rescue-reality, this makes perfect sense… because we’re all meant to work against each other. In it for the same reason? Please! I’m in it for me.

10)  If I catch you breaking one of these rules, I will come onto your facebook wall ... and make you feel like an ass. I will have the nerve to write rude comments on YOUR personal page, calling you names and saying you exhibit a “lack of compassion.” Especially if I see any semblance of humor taking place on your stupid, childish wall. Everyone knows ... once you become a “rescuer,” your personal page is no longer personal. It’s open to scrutiny and judgment... and your posts must remain serious at all times. After I berate you, I’ll be freaking pissed when you block me. How dare you? Blocking is for football. I, dumbass, am an animal rescuer.

Wait…I’m sorry. THESE are the rules? Okay, see… cause I thought it was about balance. Fighting for the animals... while trying to stay happy and positive. Working through the heartbreak and misery... by rejoicing in the successes. Taking a break from the tears... to enjoy a little innocent laughter. Dedicating all of my time to helping every last dog that I can... while still trying to appreciate the one life that is mine to live.

But what do I know, right? I'm just a bunny-hopping, pansy-smelling, child magician, football player.

If you believe in the above set of rules, it’s time to take a step back and remember why we do this. We save lives to bring JOY to those who are saved. This process should also bring joy to YOU, too. If your life is completely void of enjoyment, happiness, and laughter, then you’re missing the point. It’s okay to smile every now and then. You may even try laughter... if you’re feeling ballsy.

Don’t be a downer. Downers are for drug addicts. You, sweet friend, are an animal rescuer.

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I Rescue Dogs

I rescue dogs. I fight for them. I dedicate my life to them.

I rarely put myself first. I never put them last. I always try to do right by them.

I am optimistic, but also realistic. I'm a positive person, who's been beaten down by the negativity of the world. I'm happy most days, but with a constant underlying sadness.

I've opened my heart to more dogs than I can count. I bring them into my home. I return the life that was taken from them.

I've accepted the craziness of my world. I take the insanity in stride. I've given up any hope of having a normal life or a clean house.

I live each day, for the dogs. I wake up, prepared to save more. I go to sleep, thinking of those I couldn’t reach.

I hate my phone… it never stops ringing. I answer and listen to the horrible accounts of animal abuse. I shudder, as I write the unspeakable details on a scrap of paper.

I follow-up on these cruelty reports. I arrive at the location. I wince... because it’s worse than I expected.

I look into the eyes of the neglected. I feel their pain in my own heart. I hear their silent cries.

I apologize for the awful things that have happened to them. I say “I’m sorry,” for things I didn’t do. I say, “I love you,” because no one else ever has.

I try to talk sense into senseless people. I try to educate the ignorant. I fail at these attempts on a daily basis.

I can’t save them all. I can’t even save most. I live each day knowing that --no matter how hard I try-- it will never be enough.

I know that... even when I succeed... I fail. I know that for every one I save, there’s another that I lose. I know that no matter how many I help, my work is never done.

Even still, I save all that I can. I love more than I thought possible. I smile… because they smile.

I take-on their pain, so that they may have happiness. I allow my heart to hurt, so their’s can heal. I become the one who is wounded, so they may be restored.

I know the cruelty that exists. I’ve seen the faces of abuse. I witness the senselessness of the world… knowing that change is always just beyond my grasp…

I ask for help… it rarely comes. I pray for hope… it rarely appears. I beg for mercy… it rarely arrives.

I sometimes lose faith in humanity. I often cry. Some days, I crawl into bed and pull the covers over my eyes.

Sometimes, I sob. I hurt so much… but I cry because they hurt more than I ever could. The helplessness drives me to say, “I can’t…”

Then, a foster dog’s kiss says, “You can…”

So, I get out of bed. I brush off the despair. I vow to make a difference.

I do make a difference.

I never give up. I fight for change each day. I pray for relief from the pain… not for me, but for them.

I rescue dogs. In turn, dogs rescue me. Everything in between... is so worth it.

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Published Author To Visit Lucky Dog Rescue!

On May 22, 2011, my amazing friend and published author, Michelle Sathe, will be doing a book signing event at Lucky Dog Rescue in Meridian, MS! I am so excited to finally meet Michelle and promote her incredible book: ““Pit Stops: Crossing the Country with Loren the Rescue Bully.” A portion of “Pit Stops” proceeds will benefit Lucky Dog Rescue! In addition, Michelle will be interviewing me for her next book, “Pit Stops 2!”

PUBLISHED AUTHOR & PIT BULL AMBASSADOR TO VISIT LUCKY DOG RESCUE IN MERIDIAN, MS!

(Los Angeles, CA) - Kara, a three year old pit bull mix saved from a high-kill Los Angeles County shelter, has been selected as the bully breed ambassador for the national “Pit Stops: Crossing the Country with Loren the Rescue Bully” book tour launching on May 9.

Accompanied by Kara, author Michelle Sathe will sign copies of “Pit Stops” at rescues, shelters, humane pet stores and dog-friendly venues from Santa Fe to Pittsburgh during their seven-week trek.

“Kara is such a sweet, affectionate dog, I just know she’s going to charm everyone she meets,” Sathe said. “Having a positive, hands-on interaction with a bully breed is instrumental in turning around the bad rap these dogs have. Like Loren, my canine companion in the book, Kara’s the perfect girl to show the world how great bullies can be.”

Sathe and Kara will appear for a book signing and adoption event at Lucky Dog Rescue in Meridian, MS, on Sunday, May 22 from 3-6 p.m. Run by Ashley Owen Hill, Lucky Dog Rescue specializes in rescuing pit bulls and other homeless dogs from shelters, as well as providing assistance to low-income pet owners in the area.

“Ashley and I met on Facebook, where she tirelessly networks dogs in need of homes through Pet Pardons and her own page. I’m so impressed with her blogs, her passion and her commitment to rescuing the dogs of Meridian,” Sathe said. “ Kara and I can’t wait to meet her and the residents at Lucky Dog Rescue. I’m also excited to tell Ashley’s story in Pit Stops 2, which will come out in the summer of 2012.”

“Pit Stops,” released in the fall of 2010, chronicles Sathe’s original cross-country journey in 2009 with Loren, a homeless pit bull from The Brittany Foundation dog rescue in Agua Dulce, where Sathe is a volunteer and board member.

Sathe, a features writer with The Santa Clarita Valley Signal, had turned 40 and decided to combine her dream of the great American road trip with a mission to promote pit bull awareness and homeless pet adoption. Together, Sathe and Loren crossed 29 states in 50 days, shining a light on animal welfare advocates and volunteers along the way, as well as exposing the brutal reality facing pit bulls and dogs who look like them.

“Bully breeds are the dogs most likely to be neglected, chained, abused or trained to fight, through no fault of their own,” Sathe said. “As many of the experts I’ve interviewed in ’Pit Stops’ have expressed, there’s also a dangerously inaccurate media bias on pit bulls. They’re sensationalized and misrepresented, and because of this, often miss out on the chance of becoming a family pet. Instead, they become a sad statistic in our shelter system.”

Thankfully, Loren’s story in “Pit Stops” had a happy ending when her long-awaited dream came true. Sathe is striving for the same outcome with Kara, whom she describes as a symbol of what happens far too often with pit bulls. “Kara was used as a breeder for years and then dumped at the shelter when she was pregnant. When her ten puppies were adopted, Kara was scheduled to be killed,” Sathe said.

Instead, Kara was rescued in the nick of time by shelter volunteer Kyle Harris, who fosters dogs at her Canyon Country home, in January. When Sathe saw Kara’s picture posted on Harris’ Facebook page, she knew she had found her new road companion.

“We’ve spent some quality time together to prepare for the trip and I just adore Kara,“ Sathe said. “Unfortunately, bully breeds can take some time to adopt out, so Kyle and I both hope that the exposure from the trip will help Kara find her perfect family.”

Sathe will blog about the duo’s adventures in real-time starting May 9 at http://blog.pitstopsbook.com . “I’m really looking forward to this trip and I think Kara is, too,” Sathe said. “We’re going to do our best to help these dogs, one mile and one encounter at a time.”

A portion of Pit Stop sales will benefit Lucky Dog Rescue!

Meet Michelle, Kara, Ashley, and the awesome adoptables at Lucky Dog Rescue, Sunday, May 22, 3-6 p.m., 8659 Hillview Drive, Meridian. For more information, visit www.luckydogretreatmeridian.com or www.pitstopsbook.com.

Severe Weather: Pet Edition

I write a weekly Pet Column for my local newspaper, The Meridian Star. Due to the devastating storms that recently swept through the South, this week I decided to cover a more serious topic: Protecting your pets from severe weather.

THE MERIDIAN STAR

Severe Weather: Pet Edition

By: Ashley Owen Hill, guest columnist

This spring, severe weather has swept across the South, with devastating and deadly effects. As we try to prepare by protecting ourselves and our homes, what about our pets? Are you taking all of the necessary measures to ensure their safety?

Following natural disasters, the number of reported missing pets rises dramatically. Because severe weather can strike with little warning and limited time to prepare, it’s important to take some necessary precautions for your pets long before a storm ever hits.

First, you must ensure that your pet is wearing a well-fitting collar, complete with rabies and ID tags, at all times. If your pet goes missing, how will he get home if no one knows where he belongs? A secure collar should fit snugly around your pet’s neck, with just enough room to put 2 of your fingers underneath. ID tags should be attached to the collar, displaying your name, address, and contact phone number.

While collars and pet tags are essential, these items can easily slip off, especially during chaotic weather. Therefore, microchipping is the best option to fully ensure your pet’s safety. Microchipping involves a quick, painless, and inexpensive procedure that can save your pet’s life. Your vet will insert a small, electronic microchip, about the size of a grain of rice, under your pet’s skin. The chip is injected using a hypodermic needle, so it’s no more painful than a routine vaccination or injection.

If your pet goes missing at any time, he can be easily reunited with your family by way of the microchip. Each microchip contains an ID number, registered to the owner of the pet, which is activated when a microchip scanner passes over the area. Vet’s offices and shelters immediately scan found pets for a microchip to identify and contact the owners. Talk with your vet about microchipping your pets.

So what should you do when a storm hits? Bad weather can leave pets in a state of terror. Loud sounds, such as thunder and lightning, not only produce fear and anxiety in our pets, but may also cause them to run away.

If you evacuate, please take your pets with you! They are members of the family, and they depend on you for protection. Leaving them behind will render them terrified and helpless, with limited chance of survival. If you cannot take pets with you, board them in a safe facility like Lucky Dog Retreat!

If you choose to ride out the storm in your home, please bring all pets inside and place them in a safe and secure location. Would you leave your children outside during a severe thunderstorm or tornado? Please don’t make your pets endure the weather without you.

Following a storm, check your property for any debris that may be harmful to your pet. Also, check your fencing to ensure that no damage has occurred that could allow your pets to escape.

Severe weather has been responsible for the deaths of so many beloved family pets. Please don’t let your pet become another statistic.

Ashley Owen Hill is the owner of Lucky Dog Retreat, 8659 Hillview Dr, Meridian. Email her at Ashley@luckydogretreatmeridian.com. Follow her blog at www.luckydogrescueblog.blogspot.com or www.facebook.com/luckydogrescueblog.

A Home For Rufus

Rufus was an Owner Surrender. His family gave him up... because he “barked too much.” It’s funny… because ever since they dumped him nearly 4 months ago, Rufus has lived with me. And I’ve never once heard him “bark too much.”

I have, however, had a problem with Rufus being way too awesome for me to accurately describe in words. I’ve had the pain-in-the-ass issues of him being way too loving, far too sweet, and beyond freaking friendly. Damn… I hate when that happens. It’s like: "Umm... What the hell is wrong with you, Mister Nice Dog? You’re not even gonna bite my hand or anything? Useless!!!" (Hence, the SARCASM. It's the underlying theme of this post)

Rufus is a 100 lb., Lab/Dane mix. He’s HUGE. But I’ve never met a bigger teddy bear… there’s never been a more gentle, loving soul. Gosh… I really hate when the "sweet dogs "come in! A well-behaved, gorgeous dog with a great personality? Yeah… I’m gonna pass. I’m holding out for mischief, homely, and aggression.

With Rufus, it’s been a real uphill battle (obviously, more sarcasm). I’ve had to deal with a dog who loves to play with other pups… a real jerk who’s never met another dog he didn’t like. Well, okay... there was this one dog… of which Rufus wasn’t a fan. But in his defense, she ferociously humped him A LOT… and it was kinda scary for him. He likes it when women are more subtle… you know, play hard-to-get. So he’d run and hide from her… though she was half his size. What a vicious, mean, barking boy he is!

Rufus is such a bad boy, that he’s actually been my “control dog” for temperament testing other rescue dogs. His calm, submissive, friendly disposition was so "deplorable" ... that I didn’t have much use for him… other than to make him the most useful, treasured dog I had. But even with the additional responsibility of greeting the new guests, he never once complained. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to say: "Son, know your role! Whine already! Pitch a fit! Boycott! Or at the very least, freaking attack somebody! I signed up for a LOUD BARKING DOG! Friendliness and following directions will not be tolerated in this household, young man! Go to your room, and don’t come out until I hear you BARKING! Do you hear me?!"

Rufus behaves so well... it's actually super-ridiculous. Every day, I’ve had to watch him politely listen and obey as I said, “Sit.”

Ummm… what the crap was that? You aren’t supposed to DO the trick! When I say, “Sit,” you’re supposed to dance around, jump all over me, claw my face, then run away. DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?!?!?! Ugh! The smart, well-behaved ones are the WORST!!!

Every time I’d say, “Rufus, Come,” he’d come. Every time I’d say, “Rufus, Stay,” he’d stay. Every time I’d say, “Rufus, Kennel,” he’d go into his kennel. Seriously dude, you gotta be kidding me with this crap... Where's all the "misbehavior" I agreed to take-on from you??

On car trips, he’d politely sit in the backseat and enjoy the ride… never once making a peep. I swear, the quiet ones are THE WORST! Bark, damnit! Whine! Cry! Howl at the moon, for freak’s sake! All this freaking peace and quiet… ENOUGH, ALREADY!!! (clearly, more sarcasm)

I've had to put up with all of Rufus’ love and affection… and let’s be honest… it’s just not necessary. Cuddle time on the couch with a sweet, happy dog? Um… yeah, I’m busy. Loving kisses and special snuggles? I prefer biting and hatred, but that’s just me. Fun, outdoor playtime with an awesome pup? Um… is death an option for me here… or no?

Every single day—that’s 7 days a week for almost 4 months—I have been with Rufus. And every day, Rufus has happily and lovingly greeted me, not with a bark, but with a kiss and a gentle nudge. I never once saw him without a smile on his face. I never once saw him misbehave. I never once saw any inclination of why a family would ever give-up this precious, amazing dog. I never once understood how they could do such a thing… especially not to Rufus.

Every single person who has met Rufus over the last 4 months—and there have been many—has said, “What a cool, awesome dog! He’s so sweet! So gorgeous! So well-behaved!” Those words were always followed by, “If I could adopt another dog, I’d take Rufus!”

I thought the same thing myself --on a daily basis.

But for nearly 4 months, no one ever adopted Rufus. Until now…

An amazing family in Cheyenne, Wyoming contacted me about Rufus, and honestly, I couldn’t have dreamed of a more perfect fit for my big angel. Following their adoption approval, I worked on setting up transport from Lucky Dog Rescue in Meridian, MS to his new family in Cheyenne, WY. An amazing anonymous donor made that happen. Rufus was taken in a private shuttle, direct to his new home.

 Letting him go was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I said goodbye, with a tear and a smile. The tear was for me; the smile was for Rufus.

And today… Rufus arrived. Today, Rufus got home. Today, Rufus became a treasured member of the Opsal family… forever.
Today, my baby… became their baby…

Rufus has given me so many gifts along the way, and leading him home is the best way I could repay him. I was his bridge… from the forgotten to the remembered… and he was my constant reminder… of why I do what I do.

Thank you, Rufie, for always making me smile. Thank you for always kissing my tears. Thank you, for loving me so deeply, that I could always feel it in my soul. Thank you for accepting me, for all that I am, and all that I’m not. Thank you for making me a better person, just because I knew you.  

In case I never see you again, know this: For a girl in Mississippi, you changed everything. I didn’t give you away. I just decided to share you.

Rufus giving me kisses

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