1.08.2012

Grandparents Update

My Gran, with my dad (left) & uncle (middle)
As many of you know, my grandparents were in a near-fatal car accident on Christmas day.

My grandfather was left with 9 broken ribs, a broken sternum, and a broken neck... amongst other injuries. My grandmother broke all of her ribs, as well as her sternum and her back. But the biggest concern for my Gran was the lack of function in her lungs and her heart. She was in critical condition... and it was truly life-threatening.

Here in Meridian, I felt terrified, alone, and helpless. With each text and phone call, my heart would stop... as I waited for an update from my family.

My brother, a 3rd-year medical student, was very honest with me about the reality of the situation. I asked him to tell me everything, from a medical standpoint, and from a brother standpoint. After he rambled-off some doctor jargon, he stopped, and said: "This is bad, Ashley. Really bad."

I responded, "I've worked it out for me to leave town. I'll be there tomorrow."

He said, "I just pray she makes it through the night."

My brother & I
I started sobbing... and tossing items into my suitcase. I sobbed even more, as I packed a black dress and black shoes... just in case.

That night, the night before I left town, my Gran's heart stopped beating while my family was in the room. Thankfully, the hospital was able to bring her back. But... that wasn't the last time they'd have to bring my Gran back to life...

The next morning, I headed toward north Alabama. I don't even remember my drive there, but I certainly remember arriving at the hospital. I pulled into the parking garage, took a deep breath... and headed for ICU.

ICU has strict hours for visitors, with only four, 20-minute visiting times per day. When I walked into the ICU waiting room, I was greeted with a big hug from my brother. Across the room, I saw my dad, who smiled when his eyes met mine. It was the first time he'd smiled since Christmas Eve.   

After I hugged Dad and the rest of my family, it was time to see my grandmother.

As I walked into my grandmother's hospital room, tears quickly filled my eyes. In the midst of all the tubes, monitors, and IVs... I saw her. My Gran. I stood next to the bed, picked up her hand, and said, "I'm here now, Gran."

She opened her eyes, looked up at me... and a gentle smile came across her face. Then, she mustered the words: "Who's watching your dogs, Ashley-Cakes?"

I said, "Don't worry, Gran. I made sure they're all taken care of... so I could be here with you."

Gran whispered, "I knew you would, darlin'."

I fought back tears, as I said, "I love you, Gran."

Gran gently squeezed my hand, and said, "I love you too, darlin'."

After my visit, I walked out of the room, wiped my tears, and said a silent prayer: "Please don't let that be our last 'I love you.'"

That night, I was visiting with my grandfather, when he asked me to gather the family together. When I got everyone into the room, he began to talk about the reality of Gran's situation... and the likelihood that she may not pull through this. He wanted us to know that he would try to stay strong... for us.

As he fought back tears... I fought back tears. But it turns out... my Granddad is much better at fighting tears than I am. Mine began streaming down my face. That's when I felt my dad's arm around my shoulders, and I turned to bury my face into his shirt.

We left the hospital and drove to my grandparents house to stay the night. I walked into their home, and looked around at all the smiling, happy, healthy pictures of my family. I just couldn't believe that my super-health-conscious, high-energy grandparents were suddenly so sick.

As I scanned the photos on the walls, I saw the photo of my grandparents on their visit with Mayor Rudy Giuliani. I saw them at the Presidential Inauguration. I saw them with presidents of major universities, famous football coaches, and famous players.

I smiled and thought, "Damn, my grandparents are cool."

Then, I quietly headed toward my favorite place in my grandparents' home: my dad's old bedroom. Dad's childhood room is like a time capsule... filled with... my dad. I guess that's why I love it so much.

On every visit to my grandparents' house, I find myself digging through my dad's old desk drawers. I'm slightly fascinated by the contents... old photos, letters, and report cards. No matter how many times I look through that desk, I find something new and super-freaking-cool each time.

His desk contains tons of photos of my dad throughout his life. In some of his childhood pictures, I could swear I'm looking at a photo of myself. In his college days, I could swear I'm looking at my brother.

My parents
But my favorite photos... are the ones that are ripped in half... with just my dad remaining. The other half of those pictures used to be an ex-girlfriend... before my mom got her hands on it. Back in college, Mom ripped that other chick out of every pic she could find. Those half-Dad pictures make me laugh out loud every single time I see them.

In some of the other drawers, I'll find a stack of sappy, old love letters from my mom to my dad... and I'm always touched by those. I guess it's just cool to "meet" my parents before I was even alive. My favorite line in those letters is: "I can't wait until we get married and have blonde-haired, blue-eyed children one day. One girl, one boy."  That one makes me smile... because my mom was wishing for me... years before I was born.

Next, I'll dig through some old report cards, which also makes me laugh, because they look like every report card my brother and I ever got: "Extremely smart, but unable to focus. Easily distracted. Talks too much."

Later, after I finished the raid on my dad's room, I walked back upstairs... so I could complete my next grandparents'-house-activity: looking through old photo albums. I just love looking through their cool old photos, so that's a must-do on every visit to their home. But also... that night, I welcomed any good distraction.

My dad started laughing, as I proceeded to make my usual mess, by pulling out every old photo album in the house, excited to look through them.

As I flipped through those pictures, I made my usual smart-ass remarks about the clothes: "Dad, seriously... what was up with men back in the day? Why in the world would any respectable man wear Daisy Dukes??"

For the rest of the night, my dad, my brother, and I sat and looked through photo albums together. We smiled. We laughed. We hugged. In the back of each of our minds, we were wondering if these old photos would soon be all we'd have left of my Gran. But even as we thought it... we never let ourselves believe it.

But then... sometime over the next few days, my Gran slowly started to improve. Her heart got a little better. Her lungs got a little stronger. And her spirit finally returned.

When her spirit returned... the fighter inside my grandmother returned. And she fought... to live... for us.

And that's just what she did. She lived.

I'm so thankful to tell y'all that my grandmother is fighting her way through this, and so is my grandfather. As I say those words, I can hear my grandfather's voice, reciting the special phrase I've been told all my life:

"You're an Owen. There's nothing an Owen can't do." ~ Tom Owen

*If you'd like to donate to Lucky Dog Rescue in my grandparents' honor, please click the link: http://luckydogrescueblog.blogspot.com/p/donate.html 

57 comments:

  1. I'm so happy to hear that your gran has turned the corner Ashley and I pray she makes a good recovery.
    Thank you for the update...I have been wondering how they were getting on.
    You are such a lovely special family and really didn't deserve this and especially at Christmas time makes it doubly tragic.
    I wish you and your family the very best for 2012..good health and happiness. <3 <3 <3

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  2. I will add all of you to my pray list. Best wishes for a speedy recover to your grandparents.

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  3. I did not know my grandparents & now I have lost both my parents.I am so very HAPPY for you & your family!! GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU.

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  4. What an absolutely horribe accident. I have wondered many times how they both are doing. Your story was wonderful. I cried and then smiled. I hope and pray they both return to their healthy, happy selves. I wish for them the very, very best.

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  5. I sit here crying as im reading this....God is so amazing....Im so happy for Y'all.:) and Ashley you look just like your mother lol...very beautiful and you are an amazing woman thank you for all you do!:)

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  6. Ashley, are you sure they are your grandparents, because honey, they look so young. Your grandmother is absolutely gorgeous and I don't blame her for ripping the "other" woman out of those photos. Your grandfather is an extremely handsome man! I am so happy to hear they are doing much better. Please give them both a big hug from this south GA girl!!

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  7. Thanks for the update, Ashley. We were all thinking about you and what you might be going through in Alabama when you were gone. So happy to hear that your gran is on the mend.

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  8. Very happy that they are pulling through this. I will continue to pray for a speedy recovery for both of them.

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  9. I am glad to hear the good news. I was very worried for them. I wish a speedy recovery.

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  10. What a wonder story and wonderful ending! I lost my gran just a few days before christmas, I'm so glad u were able to have yours to hold on to. Were digging through photos I found soooo many gran had everything so I have lots of memories, I can't believe she's gone. I have one grandmother left so as u cherish your happy ending I will be extra vigil in chershing the one I have left.

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  11. Wow Ashley, I bawled the whole time that I read this story. It's beautiful and I am so happy for your family. Your grandparents are beautiful people and they deserve a long and happy life. Reading about your family... I'm pretty jealous...

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  12. Thank You for the update, and Im so glad that they are fighting to get better, Ive lost my grandparents and I know how hard it must of been for you,Ill keep them in my prayers and you also as this is very hard on any one that is just having to wait, God Bless You and your family.

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  13. Im so thankful everything turned out alright. You have a beautiful and very special family,Ashley. Thank you for all you are doing with animals and we will keep you and your family in our prayers.

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  14. Mary Ann said
    Praise God for the improvement of your grandparents. I have been crying my eyes out reading your blog. I can feel the intense love you have for your family. I will continue to pray for your grandparents total recovery. You are truly one of my heroes.

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  15. Asheley,I am so glad to know your grandparents are doing so much better. You seem to have such a beautiful, loving family and their love and generous hearts has continued through you and your loving heart towards the furbabies of the world who have suffered so much. God bless you all and prayers that they continue to improve and that 2012 is a year of blessings for you all!

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  16. quite a comeback, you out did yourself...your grandparents will read this and smile xoxox

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  17. Hey ashley, so glad your grandparents are improving. God bless you.

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  18. Thank you for sharing your stories. Miracles happen everyday and I am glad your gram was one of the recipients! Will say an extra prayer for you and your family that all continues on a positive path. Big hugs to you, your family and all of your precious pups.

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  19. Good to hear things are slowly getting better. Sending you hugs!

    Sam

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  20. I am so glad your grandparents are getting better. Sending prayers

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  21. Good news. So glad for you and your family.
    Life does not seem to be "fair"...but sometimes, things work out.
    I am happy that they worked out for you.

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  22. I have been waiting for this update. I'm wiping away tears! Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life with us. I am thinking about you every day and have been sending as many good thoughts and vibes to your and your family!

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  23. I'm so happy to hear that your grandparents are not QUITE so critical now, especially your "gran", sounds like she hopefully has started to "turn the corner" from what was obvioulsy a "very close brush with....".

    I pray she (and your granddad) both make an excellent and expedient (as possible) recovery.
    Thank you for the update...I have been wondering how they have been doing.

    You are obviously such a lovely special family as can so easily be seen and sensed from your blog, your website, your picts and references to your family, etc, and having seen a little insight into all of this, it is NO SURPRISE that you are an such an amazing woman in YOUR OWN RIGHT!
    From the heart and soul of a life-long animal lover and owner (both dogs and cats) and former (very "hands-on) Exec. Director of a small rural Humane Society in Vermont. Thank you for all you have and are doing with animals, Ashley!! You are truly, "One In A Million" Young Lady!

    I wish you and your family the very best for 2012..good health and happiness for and to you and yours, both your "Human Family and your Canine Family! Both groups have an Angel in their midst, as I'm sure they are ALL quite aware! :)

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  24. What a beautiful, personal share. I am so glad that your grandparents are okay. How sweet that your Gran's first thought was for the dogs!

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  25. you are certainly your gran's granddaughter. Same courage and spirit. Thanks for sharing this private story, and thanks for saving the animals. You and your family don't know all the lives you have touched with your love and courage.

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  26. So glad to hear there comeing along better ashley we all have them in our prayers and wish for them to have god watch over them as they struggle to get better and they will cause your there as is your family and thats all they need god bless and keep us updated thank you for shareing with all of us and our hearts are with you and your family

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  27. You have a beautiful family, inside and outside. You all are so blessed to have one another. I echo the other comments comparing you to your beloved Gran! Both beautiful, strong women, my wish for both of them to make a speedy and full recovery.

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  28. I am so happy to hear this great news, you and your family have been in my prayers, I had faith that God would see them both through as You are an Angel taking care of the ANgels without A Voice, how could God not answer your prayers and all of ours and that are behind you every step of the way....

    Lee

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  29. My Grandmother was an Alabama Owen also. And you are right, there was nothing she wouldn't do for her family!!! She took care of EVERYONE. Your words brought tears to my eyes and joyful ones in the end. Continued hugs and prayers....

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  30. We will continually pray for them while marveling at the strength of your family.

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  31. I'm so happy to hear this. You don't need anymore sadness in your life. <3

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  32. so glad they're doing better.....I know the feeling as one who lost both of her parents by the age of 29......it's so hard

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  33. I'm so happy for you and your family..it's really hard when you want so nadly to help someone and there's nothing you can do but feel helpless. You all are in my prayers, God smiles upon special folks, and I think he's smiling...

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  34. Ashley, I knew they'd pull through. (That's where you got your spirit from, I'm sure.) I'm still praying for them. Sandra Christian, Huntsville

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  35. I am so glad your Grandparents are improving...that is a beautiful story. I will continue to keep all of you in my prayers .

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  36. Oh Ashley!! I was crying the whole way through your beautiful story. It reminded me of this past summer when my husband had a brain stem stroke. I pray that your Gran and the rest of your family has a happy ending like we did. Stay strong sweet girl!!! :)

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  37. You are so sweet ashley and you remind me of myself so much. Its so wonderful to see such sweet people in the world like you. Im praying for you family.

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  38. Now since the tears are finally drying, I can honestly say I am so happy that they are better, Ashley you are the best medicine they could ever receive, all that love you give and receive.

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  39. so happy for you - hope they improve more and more each day

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  40. So glad they both pulled through. I cried reading this, I lost my grandmother recently. I know how heartbreaking it is. Love & prayers are with you and your family. Wishing your Grandparents a full recovery and many blessings.

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  41. OK...crying again...you do it to me every time!!! So glad your grandparents are improving! continued prayers!!

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  42. I don't know how I found your blog but so grateful that I did. My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult fight and time.

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  43. I'm SO happy your grandparents are doing better!! :)

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  44. Thank you Ashley for the update on your grandparents. God Bless you for all that you do.

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  45. Thank you for sharing. Prayers to both of them in a speedy recovery!

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  46. Glad to hear that your Grandparents are doing so much better. What a beautiful family you have from your beautiful grandmother and handsome grandfather to your absolutely gorgeous mother and handsome father. I see where you and your brother got your good looks!

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  47. I believe in miracle's and Ashley that was a miracle. Glad your grandparents are getting better. That warms my heart.

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  48. Thank you so much for the update on your grandparents Ashley. It warms my heart to know they are on the mend and will be well again. You have such a special family, you included! I pray for you strength and success in all your endeavors, especially with animals!

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  49. This is wonderful news, Ashley. We will continue to keep you all in our thoughts and prayers.

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  50. I'm so happy to hear the good news!! I cried as I sat here and read this.I never had grandparents to love me. I lost my Dad over a year ago... My Mom is alone now and I love her just like you love your Grandparents.. they must be so very very proud of you. You are strong,sweet,kind,loving etc. You ARE the best Ashley... May your Gran grow stronger every day :)

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  51. It's no wonder such an amazing person would come from a family of amazing and strong people. So glad your Grandparents are both doing well. Wishing you and your family a happy and healthy new year. Thank you for all that you do for these beautiful souls <3

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  52. Reading through these comments, I just had to take a moment to say thank you to each & every one of you.

    Ever since I shared the story of my grandparents' devastating accident, I've felt so much love and comfort from all of you. It's meant more to me than you could ever know.

    Thank you for all of your prayers. I just have to believe that those prayers made all the difference for her. There's really no other explanation for how or why she pulled through.

    From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
    Ashley

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  53. I have been waiting for this update...Tears are rushing down my face... as I smile. GOD IS GOOD! :)~God <3 Bless~

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  54. Wonderful news, Ashley :) i'll keep you and your grandparents in my prayers
    Kimberly W. Alexandria, MN

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  55. Thanks for sharing. We like your blog a lot.

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