Foster Back-Outs

Pinky was once in a foster home

There's nothing more rewarding than fostering a dog. That alone should be reason enough to do it. 

But in addition, all costs are covered by the animal rescue organization. The foster family gets the love, the joy, and the rewards, while the rescue group takes care of the food, the vet care, and the pet adoption. To me, that sounds like a pretty amazing deal.

But for some reason--that I just can't understand--no one wants to foster. Or, the few that do, often back-out shortly thereafter. You may be thinking: "At least they offered to help, even if only for a short time. It's better than nothing." Well, let me explain the bigger issue behind those short-term, suddenly-can't-foster-this-dog-anymore, foster back-outs. 

When a family offers to foster for Lucky Dog Rescue, it's a truly amazing act. First of all, fostering presents an incredible opportunity for the rescue dog... a chance to have the love and comfort of a home environment-- often, for the very first time in their lives. Further, foster homes are able to provide the dog with one-on-one attention and socialization... the critical elements needed to improve their chances of pet adoption.

You may ask: "But can't the dogs just get that stuff at the animal shelter? Why do you need foster homes for that?" Well, many rescue dogs have endured years of horrific abuse, leaving them with broken hearts and various issues. These dogs need extra-special love and attention, the kind that foster families can provide them. 

Most animal shelters and rescues are overwhelmed, with many dogs to care for and little help to do so. But foster homes are able to take in one dog at a time... and with a little extra love and care... those hearts begin to heal. Honestly, this means everything to that dog, and it prepares them for pet adoption and an amazing future. 

Missy used to live in a foster home.

Further, the animal shelter environment can be very stressful for some dogs. The isolation of a dog kennel can make existing issues worse... or cause new issues to develop. This may not seem like such a big deal, but it's detrimental. Because eventually, they go "kennel crazy." That's the heartbreaking reality of shelter confinement, and once that happens, no one will adopt them.

If you lived in a tiny cage for an extended period of time... trust me, you'd go crazy, too. Dogs are meant to walk, and run, and play. They are not meant to live in dog kennels forever, and over time, they slowly lose their minds. But foster homes can prevent this problem...you can prevent this problem. (Note: Lucky Dog Rescue pups get plenty of walks and outside playtime, to prevent "kennel rage" from developing. But so many rescue dogs... just aren't that lucky.)

Okay... so, I've given you lots of reasons why fostering is important. But there's another amazing aspect of fostering, from an animal rescue standpoint. When a rescue pup goes to a foster home, a dog kennel opens up at the animal shelter. This is crucial, because now we have room to save another life. And trust me, at Lucky Dog Rescue, there's always another broken dog ready to fill that spot... immediately. 

So, when someone opens their home to a foster dog, they also offer hope to another dog as well. Pretty amazing, right? Cool dog. Free love. Healing hearts. Saving lives.

Well, yes... until that foster home decides that they can't keep the dog anymore, and suddenly brings them back to the animal shelter. At that point, there's no longer a spot for this dog. There's no where for them to go. As soon as this foster dog left, that dog kennel was immediately taken by another pup with no other hope. Sure, rescues could choose to reject all other dogs, for fear of foster back-outs... but then, no other lives could ever be saved.

Diamond needs another foster home

I'm an honest person, so I expect honesty in return. When I'm told, "Yes, Ashley, I will foster this dog until his forever home is found, " I believe it. And then, I use that spot to save another life. 

So, when a foster dog comes back, for no real reason... it's beyond frustrating and stressful for rescuers like me. Of course, we'd never turn away our own rescue baby, so we're forced to make space... where there is no space. We're forced to do more... with no more to give. And we're forced to question the reliability of every single person that offers us help. 

But also... we're forced to mend a heart re-broken, when that foster dog feels abandoned, once again.

And ultimately, fewer lives are saved... because there are just too few foster homes. That's the heartbreaking reality here. If every animal lover would just foster one dog, MILLIONS of lives could be saved every year.

But without fosters... millions die. If you don't like it, do something about it. Foster.
And please, don't back out.  

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The Truth About Fostering

Every day, people make the decision to have children… knowing that their kids will one day grow up, and leave them for families of their own. That’s a painful, heartbreaking time for any parent… the day that their child finally leaves them... forever.

But does the inevitability of that day... dissuade people from having children? No.

However, when it comes to fostering a pet, I constantly hear the excuse, “It would be too hard for me. I’d get too attached. I could never give them up.” And thus, people opt not to foster, and dogs die.

But those very people… who say they just can’t take the pain of letting go… have children, children who will soon leave them for college, marriage, and lives of their own. Those very parents often dread that day in the distant future… the day that their kids no longer need them.

But when the time comes, they’ll deal with it, as best they can.

Sure, they’ll likely cry. Their hearts will hurt... as they let their baby go… and send them off to start their own life with their own family. But does that pain outweigh the years of joy, laughter, and love with their child? Never.

It takes a lot of strength and courage to be a parent. Parenting requires patience, love, and selflessness. For a while, you’re everything to your child. They depend on you to be all that they need, to provide them with love and care, and to guide them through this life.

Yet... the entire purpose of parenting is to prepare your children for that day in the future… when they’ll go off  to start their own life and family. People don’t expect their kids to stay at home forever... just to avoid that dreadful pain. Because if they did, those children wouldn’t be fulfilling their own needs, dreams, and purpose in this world.

Fostering a pet is no different.
Well... it's slightly different, in one aspect: when people don’t step-up to foster… animals die. That’s the cold, hard reality… a reality that YOU have the power to change.

Otherwise, the foster experience is very much like parenting a child, and every bit as rewarding… if not more so, in certain ways. Fostering is about taking a deserving creature into your home, during their greatest time of need, nursing them back to health, removing the pain of their past... loving, teaching, and guiding them… and then... sending them off to live the lives they deserve. Fostering is about giving a dog (or cat) the one thing they’ve never had… hope. And with the simple act of opening up your home to them, YOU are able to grant their one wish. YOU are able to make their dreams come true. YOU are able to save their life.

How many times have you actually been able to save a life? I don’t mean simply watching on the sidelines as a life is saved… I mean literally pulling a dog or cat from death, and bringing them back to life. It’s an incredible experience… there’s nothing like it. But far too many people let the inevitable pain at the end of the experience... blind them from the joy of the journey.

Consider this: Everyone who is currently on this earth... will one day die. Death is painful—often devastating—for those left behind. But death is an inevitable aspect of life. So, if we know in our minds that the people we love will one day leave us, should we never love at all? Of course not… because then, we’d miss the entire purpose of life.

I also think back to my parents, on the day I left for college. I’m lucky to have incredible parents, who have loved, encouraged, and supported me all my life. From the day I was born, they knew I would one day leave them to go to college… which was their ultimate goal for me. And so, they treasured each day with me along the way... and prepared me for my own journey.

When that day finally came, my mother’s tears conveyed the indescribable pain in her heart… a sadness that was ever-so real for her, because her baby girl was all grown up... and leaving her. But on that day, did my mother regret ever having me? No. Did the pain of that day outweigh the years of overwhelming happiness she experienced as my mom? Of course not. That day was bittersweet for my parents, because everything they’d done for the last 18 years… had prepared me for that day. Along with the tears in their eyes, I saw something else… pride. Pride for what they'd accomplished, joy that their dreams for me were finally becoming reality, and the resolution in their hearts that everything in my world ... was exactly as it should be.

Would my parents have ever stopped me from leaving for college, just so they could keep me with them? Never. That’s exactly why they gave me life… so that I may one day... leave to have a life of my own. The act of loving enough to let go is the greatest gift one can give in this world. It’s always about the journey… and when the end-result is bittersweet... it makes the journey that much sweeter.

Often, I write about the pain I feel at the end of each foster journey. I write about that heartbreak, because it’s a very real emotion for me, and a very relevant aspect of fostering. However, these stories from my heart are never meant to discourage others from joining in the incredible experience that is fostering. It’s never meant to say that I regret the weeks, months, or years of unbridled joy, uncontrollable laughter, and unconditional love. That journey is what I live for.

For a short time, I am everything to these dogs. I'm their world. I represent comfort, love, and hope… when they’ve only known pain, hatred, and despair.  In providing these gifts, I receive so much more in return… more than I could ever describe in words. During that time, I make them whole, and in turn, they make me whole. They remove any sadness, anger, or hopelessness I may feel, and replace all of the bad in the world... with the purest good that exists. In truth, they repair my soul.

At the end, I will feel immense pain as I let them go. I feel this hurt, because I love them. But when I let go, I’m releasing them to amazing families, who will pick-up where I left off, and cherish them forever. Incredible homes… that they never would’ve had… without me.

I take them into my home… knowing they will one day leave me. But that’s exactly why I save them… to catch, restore, and release. And each time I let go… I’m fulfilling my purpose in life, and I'm able to save another.

Just as with any parent… you let your children go, because you love them... more than you love yourself. It would be selfish for me to say that my pain is worth more than their life… that my sadness at the end is somehow greater than the hurt they’ve known since birth. Without me, they would’ve died… but now, they live.

Never forget, that without YOU, others will die too. Please... don’t let your fears, anxieties, and anticipation of the pain be the reason for their deaths. I’d say that the sadness of their unnecessary deaths is far more devastating than any heartbreak we could ever feel. And trust me… the love you’ll receive during your time with them, is far greater than the pain of letting go.

To put it simply, this is why I foster:

Fostering is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. It’s given me more joy, laughter, and love than I deserve. At the end, there's always heartbreak. But never for a second does the sadness outweigh the joy. Never do the tears outweigh the laughter. And never does the pain outweigh the love. Heartbreak heals... but love is forever.

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Pinky's First Family

Pinky was rescued as a puppy by Animal Rescue Fund of MS (ARF). She had a severe case of sarcoptic mange, which caused her to have horribly inflamed, “pink” skin and no hair. For the next 2 years of her life, Pinky lived on the ARF Farm, waiting for a family. However, a family never came to adopt her. Then, a couple of months ago, a Pit Bull breed ban (BSL) in Rankin County, Mississippi forced Pinky and 5 other Pit mixes to be transferred from ARF to Lucky Dog Rescue in Meridian.

Despite the immense love she’s received from both ARF and Lucky Dog, Pinky has never had a family. She’s never had a home of her own. She’s always been one of many dogs… and never been the only special girl. Until now…

My friend, Jaymie, contacted me last week to inquire about fostering one of my rescue dogs. My heart was so happy. If you want to make my day, offer to foster one of my dogs—and mean it. Jaymie has one male dog named Jeff, and she wanted to find a foster playmate for her pup... while also giving a rescue dog the chance for some special love and one-on-one time in her home. I immediately thought of Pinky... my sweet, special girl, who’s never had the chance to live in a home and have a family. I knew that the foster experience would mean the world to her.

Yesterday, Jaymie and her dog, Jeff, came to visit Lucky Dog Rescue to meet Pinky. My little Pinky-girl didn’t know it at the time... but she was meeting her first foster family.

Last night, Pinky went “home” ... for the first time in her 2-year-old life. After she left, I sobbed tears of joy for her. There’s nothing like seeing one of your babies get the chance at having a family. Foster or not, it’s the first real family life she’s ever known, and they truly changed her life yesterday... by opening their home and their hearts to a girl in need of love.

I’ll let Jaymie tell you the story of her first foster experience in her own words:

My First Foster Dog, By: Jaymie

A few weeks ago, I found Ashley Owen Hill’s facebook page, and I secretly began to stalk her profile and her blog (sorry Ash). Seeing her passion... set fire to my soul. After talking it over with my boyfriend, we decided to become a foster family for one of Ashley’s rescue dogs, until the pup could find their forever home.

Why did we come to this decision? 1) Our dog, Jeff, loves, loves, loves the company of other dogs. 2) It would help take some of the burden off of Ashley. 3) It was the perfect way for me to help a precious soul, who truly needs some extra-special love and attention.

Yesterday, we met our first foster dog, Pinky, and we brought her into our home. At 2 years old, Pinky has never been in a home environment. She’s never known what it was like to have all the love and affection to herself... always being one of many other dogs.

When she arrived, Pinky was somewhat unsure of everything. It took us about 20 minutes, just to get her to walk-up three steps into the house. But I was patient with her, knowing that she just didn't understand where we were taking her...

For the first hour, the lights, the ceiling fan, the refrigerator cutting on… every little thing spooked this sweet girl. She just wasn't quite sure what to think of all this... or of us.

But she's a smart pup and a quick learner. A couple of hours in, she started to feel safe. She laid down on the couch and even watched a movie with us. She had the best time playing with our dog, Jeff, and they’ve become fast BFFs.

She loves her crate with the comfy bed we bought for her. It makes her feel very safe. I decided to be brave and leave her crate door open all night. Pinky did perfect. She didn't mess anywhere in the house, and she didn't tear anything up! She’s such a good girl!

 

Today is Day 2, and she's already made a huge improvement. As the hours press on, I'm seeing more and more of this girl’s sweet, quirky personality. Her favorite thing is to run-off with the clean laundry as you’re trying to fold it. She'll run circles around the house... just to keep it from you. It’s her way of playing a fun little game, saying “You want your clothes? Then you better catch me!!!” But as soon as you turn your back and act like you don't care... she drops the clothing and walks away. It’s so funny to watch!

My dog, Jeff, and Pinky are best buds. They sleep next to each other, eat and drink at the same time, play tug of war with the rope toy, and wrestle almost nonstop. It melts my heart to see this girl so happy. When she looks at you, her eyes say it all. You can tell she's so very thankful for everything Ashley and ARF did to save her. She's truly an ambassador for rescue dogs.

Making the decision to foster a rescue dog is the best decision we’ve ever made. I didn’t know my heart could be so happy, and this experience has touched our lives more than we knew possible. When you bring a foster dog into your home, you intend to make a difference for them. But you don’t realize... the difference they’ll make for you.

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Wonder's Wonderful Weekend

Lucky Dog Rescue’s Weekend Foster Program allows families to foster a rescue dog over the weekend, to give the pup some extra-special love and one-on-one attention for a couple of days. Maybe you can’t commit to being an official foster family, because of the indefinite timeframe… But for just one weekend, could you donate your family to a dog who’s never had one?

I’d like to share a very touching story about the weekend foster experience of one of my most special pups, Wonder, a death row rescue from a North Carolina shelter. She spent an extra-fun weekend with a dear friend of mine, Anna Dallas, and Wonder wanted to tell you all about it in her own words…

My Weekend with Anna

Story Told By Wonder

Anna picked me up at 9 a.m. Friday morning from the coolest place on Earth, Lucky Dog Retreat, where I live with my foster mom, Ashley.  Anna brought her dog Macon with her to meet me, so we could get acquainted with each other.  He was a little shy at first, but I finally figured out he just loves all of Anna’s attention. 

When we left Lucky Dog Retreat the adventures began.  First we went to PetCo to buy me a toy.  Anna figured out that, although I am small, I am a piece of DYNAMITE.  So, she bought me a harness instead of a collar, because you see, I was pretty much choking myself pulling her around the store! After we fixed this, I picked out a bone that I liked.  When Anna was paying for my bone and harness, I stole a lot of cookie treats off of the counter, and they were delicious.

When we left PetCo, Anna took me to meet her Dad.  He didn’t know I was coming to stay for the weekend, so we were a little nervous.  Thank God I’m so cute and freaking awesome because he instantly fell in love with me (along with his co-workers).  After I met Mr. Ronnie, we went to Okatibbee Lake.  I ran until I couldn’t run any more.  I played in the flowers and rolled around in the grass.  And I even got to meet some of the fishermen at the spillway! I hate to toot my horn, but everybody that saw me kept saying what a good looking dog I was. Right before we left, I decided I wanted to take a dip in some cool muddy water.  Anna didn’t even care when I jumped in her car soaking wet and muddy!

When we got back to Anna’s house, I was THIRSTY.  I drank all of the water from the bowl she gave me, but my favorite place to drink from is the toilet.  You don’t even have to leave the lid open for me; I have no problem opening it for myself.  I got in the bathtub after our trip to the lake, and Anna bathed me with some really good smelling shampoo.  I sat like a good girl in the water and even laid down in it.  She said I was the easiest dog she had ever bathed.  This is when Anna first told me she loved me. 

After my bath, I was still ready for more.  I’m pretty sure by this point, even after all this tiresome fun, I had yet to close my eyes or even sit down.  Anna told me that we were going to meet a friend for me to play with that had an AWESOME backyard.  So, I watched her get ready, and even learned how to shave my legs, if I can ever figure out to hold a razor in my paws.  When Anna was sitting in front of her mirror putting on her mascara, I jumped on her back and did the humpty hump.  She couldn’t stop laughing at me, her silly Wonderbra. That’s her nickname for me.

Later that evening I met my new boyfriend, Denver.  Denver is a yellow lab stud muffin that lives not too far from Anna.  When I went in to meet Denver, we went nuts.  He is a year old puppy that still has lots of energy.  This is just perfect for me, because I never want to stop playing! We ran and played ALL night and had lots of toys, treats, and kisses from Anna.  When it was time for Anna to go to bed, I had finally gotten a little sleepy too.  I jumped right in bed with her and instantly laid by her side.  Anna fell asleep pretty fast and so did I.  I slept so good, and snored the whole night through.  Anna told me I snore like an old man, but that she loved the sound of it.  I think I like her. 

We woke up Saturday real early, because Anna tells me that she is an “early bird.” Today I am super tired from all the fun and take a few more naps than the day before.  So on this day, we decide to stick around Anna’s house.  But, that is fine with me. Anna has a huge yard and a lot of doggies for me to play with. She even has cats too that I loved. 

For breakfast,   Mr. Ronnie gave me some eggs, bacon, and some dog food.  For lunch, Anna shared her pulled pork sandwich, fries, and slaw with me.  After lunch, we decided to take a nap.  Anna turned my favorite movie on for me, Lady and the Tramp, and turned out the lights.  I love rooting around in her bed to find the perfect spot.  But my favorite spot was right beside her.  I like to get as close to Anna as I can, so my puppy breath hits her face and she can rub my belly.  Today she tells me I am her “little piece of heaven,” and we fall asleep. 

Later on Saturday night, I really wanted her to take me to see my man Denver again, and Anna said yes! I watch her get ready and mounted her back again while she applied mascara.  She just laughs again, and calls me her “special Wonderbra.” I think I like that name, although I’m still trying to figure out what a bra is?

We jump into the car and off we go.  Tonight I play with Denver again, until I am just exhausted.  When we are done for the night, Anna scoops me up (since I fell asleep) and off we go. 

We wake up again bright and early on Sunday and decide to go for a ride.  It’s such a pretty day out, and I love to hang my head out the window and let the wind make my cheeks flap. 

I notice that today is different though.  When we get back to Anna’s house, she lets me out of the car and I play with Macon and Cammmie for a while.  I run up to Anna and see something wet coming down from her eyes, under her big black sunglasses.  She tells me she is sad and does not want to take me back.  She tells me this has been one of the best weekends of her life, and I feel the same way too. 

We go inside to lie down since we are tired again.  Anna holds me, and rubs my belly and kisses my face.  She says to me “I love you Wonder, and this will not be the last time I hold you.” I lick her face and it makes her feel better.  We get up and start getting ready around 3:00 p.m. to head back to Lucky Dog Retreat.  I can’t wait to see all of my friends and my foster mom, Ashley.  On the way, I ride in Anna’s lap and she doesn’t even tell me to move.  She rubs my back and holds on to me tight and drives with one hand.  I think she is pretty talented.  Before I get out of the car, she tells me again that she loves me, and she can tell I love her too.  Anna also tells me she hopes she can be my Mom one day.  She kisses my head and off we go.  I am so happy to see my mom, Ashley, and all of my friends. I run right inside without any hesitation. 

This special girls’ weekend changed not only Anna’s life, but my life.  I am no longer Wonder, the dog on death row in North Carolina. I am somebody’s baby. I am somebody’s Wonderbra. 

If you are interested in participating in Lucky Dog Rescue's Weekend Foster Program, email Ashley at luckydogrescueblog@gmail.com for Foster Application!

Let's Go Home

As I look around at the many foster dogs who love and depend on me, I anxiously anticipate the bittersweet moment when they'll move on to the next phase of their lives... going HOME to their forever family.

I'll never be able to explain in words the immense joy --and overwhelming heartbreak-- of that moment. It’s like my heart, while so full of happiness, is being ripped from my chest. When they go, I honestly lose a piece of myself... a piece that will never return to me.

On that day, this precious dog... who's been nothing less than my own child... is leaving me forever. Most of them, I'll never see again. They can’t call me. They can’t send a letter. I can’t see them, touch them, or hold them anymore. When I let them go... I know that it's the last time our paths will ever cross in this lifetime.

For a short while, this foster dog is my entire world. I pulled this dog from death... right into my heart. I nursed them back to health. I taught them to trust, to play, to share. I showed them compassion for the first time in their life, and I promised to love them always...

That love, lives forever, inside my soul.

All the while, I know... that one day soon, they will leave me.

I know that each hug, each kiss, each smile, is precious… as this won't last forever.

I know that in days or weeks, I will cry myself to sleep, because I miss this baby so much.

I know that, when I leave them with their new family, they will not understand.

I know that they will try to leave with me.

I know that I will sob as I say, “No, baby. Stay here. This is your home now.”

I know that I will hear them cry for me as I drive away.

I know that for a couple of days, they will wait by the door for me to return.

I know that I won’t return.                                                                      

And I know that I will spend the rest of my life loving someone that I can never see again.

But here’s what else I know:

I know that this dog will now have the life they deserve, with a family who will treasure them.

I know that they will soon realize that this new home is where they belong.

I know that they will understand why I did what I did for them, and why I had to leave.

I know that they will thank me for what I did, every day, forever.

I know that their lives now mean something to someone other than myself.

I know that the joy experienced during our time together will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I know that my pain resulted in a lifetime of their joy.

I know that my saving them really saved me.

I know that I can now save another life in their place, and in their honor.

And I know that, for one more dog, the world is exactly as it should be.

What a gift to give… Life. Love. Happiness. The holes in my heart are repaired by the joy of a family that is now complete. A family that will forever be special to me, because they made my child, their child.

Yes, I take them in... knowing that they will leave me, but the pain of their leaving doesn’t outweigh the joy of the time I have with them. And my gift to them is happiness, every single day, for the rest of their lives.

The moment will come when each of my children will leave me for another family. I look at my rescue babies, and despite the pain, my heart longs for that moment. They deserve that moment. They deserve a family that will love them forever. A place to call home. They deserve the life that they almost never had… the life that others tried to steal from them. But I fought to give that life back to them. And as we part, I give them 2 things: their life and my heart.

And now, another dog deserves the chance to be rescued by me in their place. As one dog waits by the door for me to return, another waits on death row for me to arrive. And the dog awaiting my return already has a family… the other doesn’t even know what a family is. So my heart can handle the pain, because another’s despair depends on my strength.

And when I arrive, I'll say, “Hey little one. I'm your new mom, and everything's okay now. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here… I had to let my other baby go... so I could take you as my child. One day soon, you'll leave me too, and that will be the second-best day of your life. Today is the best. Let’s go home.”

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