Look Back, Move Forward

Just sharing some thoughts on reflection. Feel free to read... or not. Whichever :)

Lately, I've been taking some time to reflect. To look back... so I can move forward, kinda thing. 

And for me personally, one of the best ways to accomplish this... is to read through some of my old writing... 

That being said... this process is both easy and difficult for me to do, because reflecting on my former words can be preeetty awkward for me...

Why so? Well... for starters, I rarely read my own blog posts. It sounds crazy, I know, but it's true. Mostly because... I'm not really a fan of my own writing.

I write, because I love to write, NOT because I love to read what I write. I write... because it helps me communicate, or feel, or connect with others. Or all of the above. But NEVER because I think I'm "good" at it.

So anyway... point being, the only time I ever really re-read my own writing --after the fact-- is times like now, when I need to reflect, rewind... hit Play, again. 

Otherwise, I'd much rather read what someone else has written, than read my own words. It just feels weird to me... almost gross... to read my own crap. I feel so vulnerable, exposed, naked. Feelings I wish to avoid.

Plus, truth is... I over-analyze everything. My inner critic is a real bitch, if you know what I mean. If you're a writer (or a creator of some kind), you probably know exactly what I mean. If you're not, then it may be a little harder to understand...

But I guess I'd compare it to... hmmm... okay, this is a bad example, but let's go with it: So, you know when you think you're having a decent day --from a physical standpoint-- and then, you take a picture. Initially, you're all like: "OMG let me see, let me see!!!" Then... you look at the photo, and you view yourself through the eyes of the camera. And suddenly, you're like: "Do WHAT now?! I look like THAT?! Um... DELETE!!!"

Now... imagine if that photo of you were posted on the Internet, for the rest of forever, for everyone to see... (you know we all have that one asshole friend who always tags you in the shit they promised to delete... or they said: "I'll never show anyone, ever" ... and then you get a fb notification: "so-and-so tagged you in a photo" ... and you're ready to kick their effing ass...)

Okay... so translate that feeling into something that you've created... something YOU produced yourself. The pressure is already high, because if it SUCKS, then you have no one else to blame, but yourself. But at the time you wrote it, maybe your writing seemed somewhat decent to you... at least worth sharing, right? But reading it back later, you're freaking APPALLED by what you did... what you wrote... what you signed your freaking name to, and shared with others, for all the freaking world to see.

Well... THAT'S why I rarely read my own posts. Because I know I'll have THAT feeling when I do. And I HATE that feeling.

Regardless... when it's time to look back and reflect on my life, there's no better way to do so... than to read my own words. I always read them differently, the second time around. Even when I'm embarrassed as hell, about the quality of something I wrote, or what I said, or how I said it... it's still therapeutic to read back later, in some small way.

So, basically... I said all of that... to say this: when you're trying to find you, sometimes... the best place to look... is back at yourself, in the past. Who was I then? Who am I now? And why did one... become the other? How was I feeling then? How am I feeling now? What did I do wrong then? What could I do right, now? And have I learned from it all, and changed, for the better? 

And most importantly: what do I want for me, for my life... going forward?

It's a weird way of reminiscing with yourself... a good way, actually. But also... it's often the only way to move forward. To move on. To freaking grow, dude.

I guess that's the purpose of my post today. This recent reflection has been really good for me, so I'd like to encourage you to do this for yourself. If you're struggling today... look back at yesterday... or maybe even a couple-of-years-worth-of-yesterdays... and then... follow you into the present. View it almost like a path... leading from who you were then... to who you are now. And make sure that you appreciate the hell outta that path. 

After all... it made you... you.

Then, ask yourself: do I like who I am now? And if so... why so? And if not... why not?

Like I said... I've been doing this recently, and it's a process, of course... but a process that has changed my life. In many ways, I think the "me" back then ... would be so proud of the me now. At how far I've come, at how much I've grown, at what I've learned from it all.

Because... when it comes down to it, every life experience is about learning and growing, right? So much of life is about using whatever mistakes you made back then... to shape the you today, right now... and going forward. It's about learning what you need to do, what you want to do, and what you don't need/want to do. It's about finding out what doesn't make you happy, what does make you happy, and how you can make others happy. 

It's about becoming you... the best you that you can be. 
And then... sharing that you with someone... and with the world. 

At the end of the day... visiting an old you... can lead to a new you, a better you. But ONLY if you let "you" in. It's may not be easy... to look back, and relive the pain, or even the joy, from before. But it's definitely worth it, because it just may change your life...

Accept your past. Embrace your present. Fight for your future.
Apologize to those you've hurt. Forgive those who've hurt you. Forgive yourself.
Don't make excuses for who you are, or why you are that way, or why you aren't another way. 
Don't deny yourself happiness because of something you did... or didn't do... or could've done better. 
Don't think that you don't deserve it... or that it's not worth it... or that it's too late. 
Because it's NEVER too late to be happy.

Trust me... it's worth it.

Look back. Move forward. Grow stronger.
And start living your freaking life, dude! You only get one. And it can be AWWWESOMMME :)

CLICK TO DONATE TO LUCKY DOG RESCUE!  

*This one's for you. You know who you are :) 

Maybe They Just Don't Know...

[The following blog post provides a broad, general overview of the importance of pet adoption, versus buying from a breeder. I'll write another post later, more-focused on the distinctions within the "breeder portion" of the "buy" equation. But for now, I'd like to speak to the potential buyers... in an attempt to show them another way...]

*If you're looking for a new family pet, please read this first! 

Today, I want to discuss the subject of pet adoption. 

Lucky Dog: Diamond, Available for adoption

Since the term "adoption" is often misused, let me clarify: 

By "pet adoption," I'm referring to the act of adopting a dog, cat, or other pet from an animal shelter or animal rescue group... versus buying a pet from a breeder. 

Now, you may be asking: What's the difference?

Well, I'll tell you...

Purchasing a pet from a breeder is not "adopting." It's buying. And while I'm NOT here to judge or condemn everyone who has ever made the decision to buy a pet versus adopting, I do want you to understand the difference between the two. It's an enlightening distinction, so please keep reading...

First, you need to understand the difference between an animal shelter or animal rescue group... and an animal breeder. Here's a general overview: 

Animal shelters and rescues are organizations that take-in the pets who have no where else to go. These agencies obtain their animals from many different sources: other shelters, owner surrenders, seizing of pets, strays, unwanted puppy/kitten litters, breeders, puppy mills, hoarders, etc.

The most basic goal of shelters/rescues is to find loving homes for the pets in their care, while also focusing on efforts such as spay/neuter, which help control the pet population... reducing the number of animals euthanized each year (Millions of beautiful, loving, deserving, healthy animals die in shelters each year, due to the pet overpopulation).

Conversely... breeders bring more pets into the world. In short, irresponsible breeders breed their animals, in order to sell the offspring for profit. (Distinctions between different types of breeders will be made in another post.)

Clyde, available for adoption with Lucky Dog Rescue

Okay... quick summary: 
Shelters and rescues work to reduce/control the pet population through spay/neuter, with focus on finding adoptive homes for as many animals as they can.
Irresponsible breeders work to bring more animals into the world, increasing the pet population, with primary focus on making a profit.

Adopt a pet; save a life.
Buy a pet; contribute to the problem. 

Got it? Good. Let's keep going...


So...
While breeders are bringing millions of new puppies and kittens into existence... millions and millions of OTHER puppies, kittens, and adult animals are being killed in shelters each year. Why?? Because there are just too many animals waiting for families... and not enough families adopting them. 

Yet, there ARE many families out there who are looking for a new pet... but so many of those families choose to buy their new pet from a breeder, instead of adopting from a shelter or rescue. 

So... let's talk about WHY this choice is made... and what happens as a result of that choice. Then, most importantly... the alternatives to that decision.

Obviously, there isn't just ONE reason why people buy pets from breeders. There are many. But common sense tells me that the most important factor for the buyer is: the breed. 

Reece, Choc Lab, Lucky Dog Rescue

Example: Joe is looking for a specific breed of dog... let's say: a Lab. So, he goes to a breeder, and buys a Lab. Makes sense, right?

But here's the issue with that... and the part that Joe may not realize: there are sooo many Labs, and puppies/dogs of every breed you can imagine, who are living --and dying-- in shelters across the country. 

Many of those dogs are "purebred" dogs (same goes for cats). While the term "purebred" means nothing special to me... I do realize that it does matter to some people, especially those people who buy from breeders. And that's why it's important for me to talk about it.

So, if you're one of those "purebred" people, then let's talk about what it is you really want in a dog. When searching for a "purebred" dog of a particular breed... what you're really drawn to --at least, initially-- is the look of that breed, right? Meaning the size, the color, the face, ears, body type, etc. And then... secondly, you're probably interested in the perceived character traits, intelligence, energy level, etc of that specific breed, correct?

So then, ask yourself: if I found a puppy/dog (or cat) who had the "look" I desire, with the character traits I seek, would it really matter if the dog had "papers" to prove those things to be true? Does the "purebred" label really matter to me... if the dog looks, acts, and most likely IS --or is pretty-damn-close-to-being-- a "purebred" dog of the breed I want?

If your answer to those questions was: "Yes. Papers matter to me; the purebred label matters to me; I'm buying from a breeder" ... then... sorry, I can't help you. Not even a little.

But... if you thought to yourself: "You know what... the DOG is what's important to me, not the papers or label. And if the dog looks like a [insert breed] and acts like a [do it again], then he's probably a [you get the picture], and that's good enough for me!"   ...then keep reading :)

Mimi, Available for adoption, Lucky Dog Rescue

There are sooo many "purebred" (and damn-near "purebred") puppies and dogs available for adoption with shelters and rescues. In fact, there are also breed-specific rescue groups for every breed of dog, and those groups have many adoptable puppies and dogs of the exact breed you seek! AND... instead of paying a breeder to buy the dog, and then turning around and spending tons of money at your vet for spay/neuter, vaccinations, heartworm test, etc... guess what? The adopted dog will already be fully vetted, for a fraction of the cost! (Yes, I'm totally serious! Yeah... I know it's friggin' awesome!)

So... if you want a Lab, I can promise you... there's a gorgeous, loving, amazing Lab waiting for you in a shelter. If you want a Yorkie, English Bulldog, Pit Bull, Pug, Shih Tzu, or Peeka-Poma-Peter-Piper-Poo, they've probably got those too. But if that shelter doesn't... then guess what? Another shelter or rescue does. 

Why is adoption so important? Because... when the families who are looking for a new pet choose to buy from breeders, instead of adopting from a shelter or rescue, a couple of things happen...

Each and every pet purchase provides the irresponsible breeder with an incentive to keep breeding. This means: bringing even more animals into the world, when there are already too many. Therefore... whether or not the buyer realizes it, their purchase has directly contributed toward the already out-of-control pet population, and ultimately, the massive killing of perfectly healthy shelter pets each year. How so? Well, each time a pet is purchased from a breeder, a shelter pet who could've been adopted by that family... dies.

Missy, Available for adoption, Lucky Dog Rescue

But why? Well... while the animals in the shelters continue to wait for homes, more and more animals come into those shelters each day. Eventually, there's no more space. The consequence? With no where else to go... and no one offering to adopt them... millions of beautiful, loving, healthy --often "purebred"-- puppies, kittens, and adult animals are euthanized each year. 

But why would the shelters do this? Well... if no one is willing to adopt the many, many pets in their care... what other choice do they have? Should pets be forced to live in shelter cages forever, while people purchase dogs from breeders instead of adopting? Are YOU willing to help... by changing your "new pet" decision, from buy to adopt?

Trust me... every single "new pet" decision --including YOURS-- matters. Because every single "new pet" decision is a life-or-death decision. Even if you don't realize it... even if you refuse to acknowledge it... purchasing from irresponsible breeders contributes toward the overpopulation and the deaths of innocent pets; adoption works toward resolution, while saving lives. It's really that simple.

Okay... so... at this point, you may be thinking: "But if no one buys from breeders, what would happen to all those puppies?!"

Good question. Let's talk about that for a sec.
Breeding is a business (for at least 90% of breeders). For the VAST majority, profit is the goal. Without profit, most breeders would be forced to go out of business. Therefore, the majority would stop breeding, which would lead to a much-needed decrease in the pet overpopulation. What about the leftover puppies, you ask? Well, the puppies and breeder dogs would go to shelters and rescues, where they'd be placed up for adoption.

Warren, Available for adoption

Important note:  just because a puppy or dog is available for adoption with a shelter or rescue, it DOES NOT mean that there's something "wrong" with the dog. Shelter dogs are NOT "less-than" or "unworthy" or "lower quality" than another dog. They're actually quite the opposite: amazing. 

If you don't believe me, then you haven't experienced the joy of adoption for yourself. And if you haven't, you're truly missing out on the experience of a lifetime. So... maybe it's time you learned what it feels like... to save a life.  

Please don't buy from breeders and pet shops. 
Please don't contribute to this massive, heartbreaking, deadly problem. 
Please adopt from shelters and rescues. 
Please save a life. 
Please do the right thing... now that you know what the right thing is.

Of course... even as I say all of this, I do realize that today's post won't "change the world" ... and that's okay with me. I don't need to change the world today... I just need to change one person's perception today. Or at least... plant the seed...

If I can do that much, then maybe one more shelter dog will have a shot at hope. Because right now... that very dog... doesn't stand a chance. 

And for those of you who think: "She's wasting her time. People aren't going to listen, because people just don't care." Well, here's my response to that:

In my heart, I have to believe that people don't want innocent animals to die in shelters. I have to believe that most people buy from breeders... simply because they don't know the alternatives. I have to believe that people are capable of listening, caring, and changing their behaviors to prove it. 

Roscoe, Available for adoption, Lucky Dog Rescue

Maybe it's not that they "just don't care" ... maybe they just don't know.

And maybe now... they will.

It's worth a shot anyway. Shelter pets are dying as I type... 

[Note: if you're aware of this information, but you still choose to buy from irresponsible breeders, then maybe you don't truly understand the impact of your decisions. Or maybe... you just don't care. But for the sake of my sanity, I'll choose to believe the former... and I'll hope to one day change your mind. Innocent animals are dying, people! YOU could save them! Wake up!]

If you'd like to help my rescue dogs, please click the link below to donate:

CLICK TO DONATE TO LUCKY DOG RESCUE

Don't Give Up

When making the decision to adopt a new pet, there are so many factors to consider. The first --and most important-- factor, in my opinion, is whether or not you're fully willing and able to take on the responsibility of caring for the pet... for his or her entire lifetime. 

Meaning... 
Not just UNTIL he potties inside. 
Not just UNTIL he chews up your shoes. 
Not just UNTIL she misbehaves. 
Not just UNTIL she's no longer a puppy anymore. 
Not just UNTIL you decide to have a baby, or move, or get new carpet.

A pet --any pet-- is a huge commitment... one that should never be taken lightly. Of course, pets bring so much joy and comfort into our lives, so they're totally worth the extra responsibility.

The pet experience is what you make it... which means doing everything in your power to ensure a happy, healthy life for your pet in your home... no matter what.

Yet... I'm constantly amazed by just how many people are willing to give-up on their dog... without even giving them a chance. Apparently, some people think that the "responsibility" of owning a pet... shouldn't require any "responsibility" on their part at all. The dog should just come into their home... perfect, well-behaved, and fully-trained... with no adjustment period, no need for structure, exercise, positive reinforcement, or patience. 

Well... now, that's just banana-sandwich. 

[Note: this post is NOT intended to place judgment on everyone who has ever had to re-home their pet. I understand that legitimate reasons do exist for having to do so, and I don't wish to condemn every person who's been forced to make this decision. Instead, I'm simply trying to present this issue for what it is, so that maybe someone will change their perception, and think twice before they give-up on their pet.]

 Okay... back to the purpose...

Here's a real shocker (sarcasm): dogs are super-smart creatures... BUT they need a leader: someone to guide them, correct them, and reward them for good behavior. Much like children.

(While some people hate it when I compare dogs to children... those people aren't writing this post. Plus, the comparison of dogs and children is simply made to prove a point. So, calm down, Mrs. How-Dare-You-Call-My-Child-a-Dog! Seriously... no offense intended. Let's proceed...)

Children aren't born with the inherent knowledge of what's expected of them. They're taught. In fact... for us human folk, learning is preeetty much a lifetime gig, with the most important lessons being taught, learned, re-taught, re-learned, and thus, reinforced, throughout our lives. 

Parents teach us right from wrong. Rewards teach us what to do. Mistakes teach us what not to do. 

But... what if someone gave up on you, every time you made a mistake? How would that feel? Especially as a child... when you didn't know any better... what if your parents had simply given-up on you... and sent you away to live with whoever would take you... just because you did something wrong? 

When it comes to dogs, that's often what happens. Families get fed-up, give-up, and/or stop caring... and therefore, they carelessly make (what SHOULD BE) a heart-wrenching, unthinkable, not-even-an-option decision: "Let's get rid of the dog."

Yet... the dog can't understand why his family would ever desert him... He loves them. He never meant to make them angry. He truly wanted to please them. 

And honestly, to that dog, it doesn't matter how "bad" the family feels, or where they plan to send him, or why they're doing it. For him, all that matters... all he wants... is his family. He'd do anything for them.

How can people just throw that kind of love away?? Especially when so many solutions exist...

Here's the reality: dogs don't want to be "bad." Actually, they strive to please you. But when they don't understand what's expected of them... when they aren't redirected from bad behavior... or rewarded for good behavior... or given the chance to learn and grow... then yes, they will probably act in ways that seem "bad."

Without structure, exercise, training, and companionship, dogs will look for other ways to entertain themselves. Often, the things that seem most "fun" to your dog, are the OPPOSITE of fun to you... chewing, barking, digging, climbing, etc. While these issues aren't impossible to fix, they certainly don't "fix" themselves. 

That's where you come in. You're the leader. You're the "parent."

Honestly, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how to resolve most canine issues, but it does take time, effort, and consistency, on your part. In other words... commitment. You know... that same "commitment" you promised to honor for this dog's lifetime... on the day you brought the dog home. 

What happened to that promise?? 

If you're considering giving-up on your pet, there's almost always another option. An option that allows your dog to stay in your home, with his family. Whether you've had your dog for years, or you recently adopted, you should always exhaust every possible alternative before you even consider the need to re-home your dog. You owe them that much.

Since adoption-returns are a big issue for many animal rescues and shelters, let me touch on the subject of bringing a new pet into your home... and keeping them there...

When you adopt a new dog (or cat), there's always an adjustment period. Sometimes, it's a couple of hours, days, or weeks. Sometimes, it's a couple of months or longer. But trust me... there WILL BE an adjustment period, for both you and the dog. And if you refuse to acknowledge this aspect, and refuse to be patient, understanding, and compassionate during this process, then please... don't adopt the pet in the first place.

Seriously, returning a pet to a shelter within mere hours of adoption due to "misbehavior" is just about as ridiculous as trying to return your newborn baby to the hospital because he cried when you got home. That's just crazy-pants. (clearly, an extreme example, but still...)

So... in order to keep your personal frustrations at a minimum during the adjustment phase, just look at the situation from the dog's perspective: he or she is suddenly in a new place, with new people, new expectations, and a new routine. YOU know he's been "adopted," but he doesn't know that. Sometimes, there's some confusion,  uncertainty, and even a little fear involved. Other times... immense excitement and curiosity. Regardless, the dog has to adjust, get comfortable, and become settled in your home... and that takes time.

The new dog may come into your home with existing issues, or he may develop some new quirks in his new environment. Either way, you must be willing and able to deal with any issues that arise. Most importantly, you must be PATIENT. You can't just expect a new dog to enter your home as instant perfection. I mean... when YOU move into a new house, doesn't it take YOU some time to get settled? And let's face it: you're human; he's a dog. Cut the kid some slack.

If you've had your dog for years, and suddenly, you're beyond fed-up with this or that issue, well then... you have to acknowledge that YOU are much of the problem. The dog has learned these negative behaviors in your home... and if you didn't take the time and effort to correct the issues early-on, or in all of the years since, then you can't blame the dog for your lack of "parenting." Would you want your dog to kick YOU out of your house for poor leadership? Probably not, but guess what? Even if he could... he would never do that to you. Don't do it to him, either. Especially not for something that's your fault.

Training, exercise, structure... these things are every bit as important to dogs as to humans, and without these things, guess what? Issues develop. There are tons of resources available to help you with any issues your dog may have, so there's really no excuse to simply give up on your pet without even trying to resolve the problem. Again, this takes time... and your dog deserves every bit of time it takes... and then some.  

Why? Because... if and when everyone else in your life fails you... or abandons you... or gives-up on you altogether... there will be one "someone" still waiting there to love you: your dog. 

So... try harder. Do more. Don't give up on him!
Love your dog like he loves you: unconditionally... forever.

CLICK TO DONATE TO LUCKY DOG RESCUE!

You're You

Cleaning kennels

Before you judge me...
Or anyone like me...
Please... live at least one day in my shoes.

Please...

Clean the number of kennels I've got.
Care for the number of dogs that I've saved.
Apologize to those broken-hearted dogs in your care... for things you didn't do...

Answer one of the calls that I get.
Check one of my emails.
Read the hateful comments I see... about me... from the ignorant people... who have never been "me" ... but assume they know more about "being me" ... than I do.

Feel the despair I feel... when I'm forced to say "No."
Feel the anxiety I feel... when I'm forced to say "Yes."
Feel the hopelessness I feel... when I'm forced to say: "I have nothing left to give."

And then... if you're me...
When you have nothing left to give...
Give more.

Give up yourself.
Give up your life.
Give up everything in your world... for others.

And when you struggle... beg for the help you need.
Hope that it will arrive...
Know... that it probably won't...

Hope that you're wrong.
Pray that you're wrong.
Know... that you're probably right.

Because...in truth... you're all you've got.
You're all they've got.
No one else... signed up to be you.

Only you did.
You're you.
Be proud... of you.

If someone hates you...
For being you...
So what???

The haters...
Are hateful.
They have nothing better to do.

Because they aren't you.

Dear Haters...
Get. A. Life.

No matter what you do... others will judge you.
Others will criticize you.
Others will hate you.



Walking the Lucky Dogs

Simply because... you're good at being you.


In their attempts to find your faults... they simply highlight their own.
They only wish they could do... what you do.
And yet... they'll never be you.

Only you can do that.
YOU manage to change the world... every single day.
And it kills them.

Because...
You're...
You...

While they suck at being them...
Do. What. You. Do.
Be. You.

That's all you gotta do.

CLICK TO DONATE TO LUCKY DOG RESCUE!

Struggles

It's been a month since I wrote my last blog post. Things have been pretty crazy around here, which (as usual) kept me from writing.

I have so many things to share... and I promise... I'll share more soon.

Today, I just wanted to write something... anything.
However... I can't promise it'll be worth a damn.
At the moment, I'm honestly not even sure which direction this post will take... (so please, bear with me!)

Maybe I'll just share some of the random thoughts I've had in recent weeks...
Here goes:

I've been so exhausted lately. (me and you both, right?!)

Honestly, we're all tired... from this, that, and everything in between.
We're all overwhelmed, to some degree.
We're all hurting, in one way or another.

Each of us is struggling with something.
Some struggles are small; some struggles are massive.
Some struggles are physical; some struggles are emotional.
Some struggles are fleeting; some struggles are constant.

That's the seemingly "bad" news: 
We each face our own harsh reality... a reality, that often... sucks ass.

But the good news is...
Each and every struggle in our lives provides us with a unique set of opportunities: for growth, for compassion, for healing. Within each battle we face... lies the chance for a more fulfilling future... and a stronger, better, more-awesome you.

(Even though... in the present, it rarely feels that way, right?)

However, there's no denying a few certain truths, such as these:

1) In our darkest moments, we often find the deepest connections with others. In turn, we experience a level of understanding, empathy, and comfort... we never knew existed. Through those encounters, special bonds are made, meaningful relationships are formed, and broken hearts are healed.

Thus, lives are changed... for the better... forever.

There's always someone out there... who understands you. If you feel alone, it's only because you haven't found "that someone" just yet.

But trust me... they're out there... .
Trust me... they "get it."
Trust me... they care...

You are not alone.

Yes... in the midst of your struggles, everything feels lonely. Everything feels empty. Everything feels hopeless.

Even still... it WILL get better. It just has to...

Obviously... suffering sucks.
But when suffering is leveraged for good... the outcome of those struggles... is always growth.

Trust me on that.

2) When you reach a breaking point, you're never as broken as you feel.

(Because... believe it or not... you're stronger than that.)

In fact, "feeling" broken and "being" broken... are actually 2 different things.

It's okay to "feel" broken, because it's healthy to feel, in general. It's okay to cry; it's okay to vent; it's okay to need help. All of these things are okay... as long as you're willing to work through your feelings, to move forward despite your feelings, and to experience growth as a result of your feelings.

On the other hand, "being" broken is a mindset. It's more of a choice, an attitude, and a  surrender... made by you... for you.

Just remember: negative choices, attitudes, and personal surrenders... will always work against you. 

Here's the deal: if you believe that you're broken, then you are.

Basically... you can feel certain things, without actually being that way.
You can feel angry in the moment, without being an angry person.
You can feel pessimistic, without being a pessimist.
You can feel despair, without being desperate.

And you can feel broken... without being broken.

Please, give yourself more credit that that. You are never truly broken. You are always truly strong.

Yet... you're only as strong... as you believe yourself to be.

So, above all else: always believe in your own strength. Always believe in your own power. Always believe in you.

3) No one is entitled to offers of help. However, most (good) people deserve help, in one form or another.

Yet, keep in mind: we're all hurting. We're all struggling. We're all suffering.
We all need help. We all need support. We all need comfort.

Each and every one of us...

So... when help is offered, you should always feel lucky, thankful, and blessed.

Because...
Every person who reaches out to you, during your tough times... is also going through their own tough times.

Therefore, they didn't have to help you, and yet... they did.

So... acknowledge their compassion. Thank them. And then... to the best of your ability, return the favor... to them... or to someone else.

Pay. It. Forward.

4) Any time you need help... any time you want help... any time you request help... always hope for compassion and empathy... over pity.

Pity makes you pitiful...

And here's why:

'Empathy' and 'pity' ... are two very different things. Empathy implies sympathy, mixed with understanding, compassion, and acceptance. Pity implies sorrow, mixed with misunderstanding, concern, and disappointment. Never confuse the two... and never request one... when you need the other. Empathy suggests respect. Pity suggests disrespect.

5) YOU can do anything.
You can be anything.
You can get through anything.

In truth, struggles simply act as stepping stones... across the ocean we know as "life."

So... if and when those stepping stones... lead you toward a dark place..
Simply create your own destiny:

Jump in, and swim toward the light.


It's worth it to try, because life is worth it.
Life is worth it, because you are worth it.

Be you.
Do you.
Live you.

Your struggles never define you.
You define you.

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Always Be Kind

You just never know when something you say, write, or do ... could manage to reach someone when they need it most.

You just never know...

Sometimes, that someone may come right out and tell you how you've impacted their life.
Other times, they may say little --or nothing-- about it...

Regardless, the result is always the same:
You did good.

While it's never about the need for their acknowledgement or appreciation (at least, it shouldn't be)... many times, you may do something truly impactful... without even realizing that you've made any difference at all.

Maybe you did something for someone, simply because it was the right thing to do, and then you went about your day.

Or you said something to someone, because they needed to hear it, and then you carried on with your life.

Or maybe you wrote something for others, just because you cared, and then you went right back to work.

All the while... you have no idea... that you've just changed a life...

Often, your own actions will seem trivial, meaningless, and insignificant to you. You may assume the following: 
Other people make a difference.
Other people change the world.
Surely, I'm not one of them.

But in your mind, you know that you're a good person.
And obviously, you try to do good things.
So eventually... you're going to reach someone.

But even when you do...
If you're like me...
You probably won't realize that what you did even mattered.
You probably weren't even expecting it to.
You probably did it anyway, just because it felt like the right thing to do.

So then, after the fact... when someone comes to you and says: "Thank you for what you did. I really needed this today."
You're honestly pretty shocked.

When they say: "You reached me when I needed someone the most."
You're actually pretty dumbfounded.

And when you hear: "This is how you've changed my life..."
You're absolutely speechless.

While those words will mean the world to you --and undoubtedly change your life, too...
in that moment, you'll totally be thinking: Wait... I did that?!

You were simply trying to do the right thing.
You never expected to make that kind of difference.
And yet... you absolutely did.

To you... it may have been nothing.
To that someone... it may have been everything.

Here's the deal:
Even if we don't know it...
Even if we don't believe it...
Even if we don't use it...
We each hold the power to change something...

Sure... I'll be the first to admit my own self-doubt... especially when it comes to the idea of impacting others. I rarely think I'm capable. I'm usually just speaking, writing, or acting from my heart... with little-to-no expectation.

That's especially true when it comes to my blog... or as I lovingly call it: my dinky, ole blog. 
I write posts... and for whatever reason-- people read them.

When I write, I'm just hoping that maybe my words will bring comfort to someone. Or maybe I'll change their way of thinking. Or my greatest hope... maybe they'll feel inspired in some way.

Do I expect these things to happen? Definitely not.
Do I expect anyone to read it? I certainly don't.
But I write anyway... because there's always a chance that something good could come out of it.
And for me, that's enough.

Yet... most of the time, I doubt myself, especially when it comes to my writing.
Even though I've written from my heart.
Even though my words are true.
Even though I believe in my message.
I still think to myself: Wow. I suck.

Regardless, I write anyway.
Why does it matter?
Well... every single time... it just so happens... someone, somewhere needed to hear those words that day:

"Dear Ashley- Sometimes in life, someone reaches you, at the exact moment you needed them. Today, I experienced that moment. You were that someone for me. Thank you, Ashley. You changed my life today."

Reading messages like those, I'm always shocked, speechless, and amazed. But mostly, I'm touched.
So touched.
So moved.
So thankful... for the person who took the time to thank me... for something I never expected a "thank you" for doing...
For something I never even thought I could do.

It's an incredible feeling... to reach someone when they need to be reached. There's nothing like it.
In truth, we should all try our best to make a difference for others, every chance we get.
After all... that's why we're here.  

And honestly...
If I can make a difference... then you can make a difference.

It's not about my writing.
It's not about my blog.
It's not about me.

It's not about giving myself credit for doing something "amazing" ... 
Because what I do with this blog... isn't amazing at all.
I write posts from my heart, because I care. Then, I share them. That's it.

But here's why that matters:
I could easily allow my own doubts, my own criticism, and my own fears to stop me from ever writing anything in the first place.
Yet... I write anyway.
And so... I'm able to make a difference... simply because I tried.

Each and every person holds that same power... to change something, for someone, somewhere.
A smile can change something.
A hug can change something.
A kind word can change something.
YOU can change something.

We're surrounded by a world of people (and animals) who feel alone, broken, and hopeless.
You'll pass them each and every day.
You'll rarely know their struggles.
They'll rarely ask for help.

And yet... they need you.

A simple, random act of kindness on your behalf... could be all they need... to feel okay again.
YOU could give them hope--today, right now, this second.
All you have to do... is try.

Above all else, always be kind.

You just never know when you'll say, write, or do something... that will change a life forever. 
If you feel it in your heart, say it.
If it lives inside your soul, write it.
If someone needs your help, do it.

An opportunity is always waiting for you...
Someone is always wishing for you...
A lost soul is always hoping for you...

Maybe you'll make a difference...
Maybe you won't...
Try anyway.

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I'm A Mom, Too

Definition:  Mother-
Noun: "A woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth."

According to that definition... I wouldn't be considered a "mother."
I've never conceived, carried, or given birth to a child.
And of course, I have no human children of my own.

However... according to that definition, the many women who have adopted human children --and then, loved and raised them as their own-- wouldn't be considered "mothers" either.

So, in my opinion, that definition kinda sucks.

But... what do I know, right?
I'm not a "real" mom anyway.

In the past, certain people have said to me:
"You'll understand one day, when you have children..."

They say this with certainty... as if I'll never fully grasp even the most basic of life concepts... until after I've given birth to a child.

As if the act of giving birth... is the only thing capable of making me a "real" person.

As if I'm currently living in some kind of self-involved, fantasy world that shields me from the realities of life.

And... as if I currently have no "children" of my own.

Well... I have to respectfully disagree with all of that. 

Here's my opinion... 
First of all, being a parent... doesn't make you a person.
Being a person... makes you a person.
Not one human... is any more of a person... than any other person.

Further...
Conceiving a child doesn't make you a mother.
Carrying a child doesn't make you a mother.
Giving birth to a child doesn't make you a mother.

Instead...
Loving, nurturing, raising, protecting, defending, teaching, guiding, caring, and providing for a "child"... every single day... no matter what...
That's what makes you a mother.

Loving them so much... that you're willing to place their needs well-above your own...
That's what makes you a mother.

Loving them so unconditionally... that there's simply nothing they could ever do to sway your devotion from them...
That's what makes you a mother.

Doing all of these things... to the very best of your ability... even when you don't have to...
That's what makes you a mom.

I don't care what anyone says...
Trust me...
I'm a mom.

Ask any of my dogs...
They'll tell you...
I'm a mom.

Ask anyone who has ever seen me with them...
They'll tell you...
I'm a mom.

Ask MY mom...
She'll tell you...
I'm a mom.

Maybe I'm just a "dog mom"...
But trust me...
I'm a mom.

Being a dog mom is different...
Mostly because... your kids never "grow up."
They'll always need you; they'll always want you; they'll always depend on you for everything they need... for as long as they're here with you.

It's also different, because many people don't take you seriously.
It's just a dog. A dog is not a "real child," and you're not a "real mom."

Others are offended... that you'd even have the nerve to compare your dogs to children: "Dogs are dogs. They are not people, and they are certainly not children."

That's their opinion... but once again, I respectfully disagree.

I am a mother.
I have countless children.
Yes... they are dogs.

Some live here with me...
Some live with new families...
And some have left me for Heaven.

But they are all my children... each adopted into my heart... forever.

I dedicate my life to my "children."
I spend all day, every day, with them... doing things for them. 
It's my job: I'm a mom.

I give them everything that I have, and I love them with everything that I am.
I surrender my wants, for their wants.
I deny my needs, for their needs.

When they're hungry, I feed them.
When they're thirsty, I water them.
When they're dirty, I bathe them.

When they're messy, I clean for them.
When they're sick, I care for them.
When they're afraid, I comfort them.

When they need exercise, I walk them.
When they need playtime, I play with them.
When they need rest, I rest with them.

When they need saving... I rescue them.

Of course...
None of this makes me special...
It just makes me... a mom.

That's what moms do.
And I'm a mom, too.

Happy Mother's Day, to all the dog (and cat) moms out there.
You're a mother, too...
And no one can ever take that away from you.

"Never forget for a single minute... you didn't grow under my heart... but in it."

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*PS- Wishing an extra-special Happy Mother's Day to my mother... the woman who taught me how to be a "mom" ... because she's the best mom ever.

Animal Rescue Truths

***Written by Ashley Owen Hill, Lucky Dog Rescue Blog***

For animal lovers like me, animal rescue is the most incredible, rewarding job... in the history of ever.

At the same time... it's also the most heartbreaking...

My rescue baby, Noah

The truth is...
You see a lot of things... you never thought you'd see.
You witness a level of cruelty... you didn't think was possible.
You feel a degree of helplessness... you never thought you'd know.

You stare at painful images... soon burned into your memory... that will haunt your thoughts forever.
You try to pick up the pieces... so many pieces... of the damage you didn't do.
You do everything in your power... but even still... you'll never reach them all.

You'll try to stay strong... but you'll mostly feel weak.
You'll build walls to protect your heart... but they'll never keep you safe.
You'll place barriers around your soul... but the pain will always reach you.

And no matter how hard you try to fight it... over time... here's the truth about what happens in animal rescue...

My rescue baby, Chance

The neglect changes you.
The abuse hardens you.
The suffering breaks you.

The ignorance angers you.
The indifference disturbs you.  
The injustice destroys you.

On a daily basis... your faith will be tested.
Your heart will be wounded.
Your soul will be altered.

On a weekly basis... you'll question yourself.
You'll question your strength.
You'll question the world.

My Rudy

On a monthly basis... you'll fall down.
You'll get up.
You'll go on...

On a yearly basis... you'll look back...
You'll see faces... 
You couldn't save them.

You'll learn to mourn.
To grieve.
To sob.

You'll learn to trust a little less.
To do a little more.
To fight a little harder.

My rescue baby, Wonder

You'll learn to try.
To hope.
To pray.

You'll learn to fail.
To succeed.
To accept.

You'll learn when to hold on.
When to give up.
When to let go.

Wonder & I

You'll learn who you are.
What you stand for.
Why that matters.

Then... at times... you'll forget why you matter.
You'll question what you're doing.
You'll wonder if it's worth it.

But... here's the good news...

When you forget...
When you question...
When you wonder...

All you have to do...
Is take a look around...
And you'll see them.

Chance today

You'll see their faces.
You'll see their smiles.
You'll feel their love.

In their eyes, you'll see their journeys...
You'll remember their beginnings...
You'll know how far they've come...

You'll remember when they didn't know you...
When they didn't trust you...
When they'd given up.

You'll remember how you healed them...
How you loved them...
How they loved you, too.

And as you look back...
You'll want to move forward...
For them... and because of them.

Rudy & I

In your darkest hours, you'll look around...
To find the differences made... the hope given... and the lives saved...
Because you existed.

In those moments, when you look into their eyes... every doubt will be erased.
Every question will be answered.
Every worry will subside.

Because in that instant... in each of your hearts...
You both share the very same thought:
"Every bit of pain was worth it... for this moment here with you."

Noah today

And honestly... no matter what else happens...
Those moments hold all the strength you need...
To keep going.

Rescue is pain.
Rescue is joy.
Rescue is worth it... because they are worth it.

And that's the honest truth.

***Written by Ashley Owen Hill, Lucky Dog Rescue Blog***

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